Finding Peace with Yourself

We have been blown away by the amount of support we’ve received for our podcast. Thank you so much for coming along with us as we venture into this new journey! (And for being patient with us while we figure out our audio.) It has been so interesting to see what topics are of interest to our listeners and to find out what’s on your hearts.

One of our first podcasts on Self Acceptance continues to be the leader in number of listens. It’s followed closely by our Men Tell All episode, but don’t tell our husbands that!

As we watched the number of downloads of Self Acceptance increase, we really started to ask why is this topic so important to so many women? And part of the conclusion we’ve come to is there is so much telling you who you should be in this day and age. Social media for one. Maybe your family, your friends, your work. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to what you should be doing and what you can do to get it right. And it’s apparent due to the growing anxiety and depression in our age that people are feeling more unrest and less peace. We also realized there is just not a ton of helpful information out there on how to fully accept yourself.

Self rejection—the opposite of self acceptance—has been something I personally have struggled with from time to time. I woke up Saturday morning with this feeling of being all alone, and I immediately started thinking of a memory from college, something that happened close to 15 years ago. There was no real reason I should have been haunted by this memory on this morning, so I took it to God. I’m going to share a process I went through this weekend, but before that I wanted to share a list of qualities that indicate you might be struggling with self acceptance –

•   Judgmental spirit

•   Strong perfectionist attitude

•   Pressure

•   Fear of the future (difficulty being present)

•   Sense of aloneness/abandonment in times of decision

•   Compulsion to compete/preoccupation with guilt

These are just a few clues that you might have some self rejection going on inside you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you do. Most women I know have experienced it at various points in their lives, or are experiencing it currently. And the good news is… healing is available.

I’m going to share a suggested way forward from Louis Hay of Hay House Publishing. It’s about accepting all parts of yourself and forgiving the parts you need to forgive. You can listen to her message here (it is around 30 mins).

Below is the technique she walks you through. (If it’s your first time doing something like this, we’d recommend inviting a friend into it with you. And if you don’t have someone you feel comfortable doing this with, email us connect@seestarlight.com.)  

1.     Find a relaxing place and allow your mind to go to a place of peace by breathing in and out and imagining a place where you are at peace.

2.     Ask yourself if there is a memory or time that you’re ashamed or embarrassed of?

3.     Don’t be afraid to go there and let the memory rise.

4.     Really experience that time – who was there, what did you look like, what were you wearing. Think about all of the details.

5.     Relax.

6.     Embrace the memory. Embrace yourself at that time. And if the memory is especially tough, you might want to ask a counselor to process it with you.

7.     An extra step we’d add here would be to invite Jesus into that time. Ask him to show you where he was at that very moment of your shame and guilt. You’ll be surprised to see how he shows up – especially if you’ve never done anything like this before.

8.     Let all of your feelings surface here. Try not to resist them.

9.     Then look at your younger self and forgive her. Accept her as she was and trust that she was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

10.  Then look at her and love her and let it go.

11.  You may need to forgive God (which I know can be tough for some people) too. And anyone involved in hurting you or making you feel embarrassed or ashamed. (Here is some helpful information from Ransomed Heart on Forgiving Jesus)

12.  Then let it all go. Breathe it all out.

13.  You may have to repeat this on occasion as the feelings of inadequacy or whatever you’re experiencing come back up.

To experience wholeness, we have to bring all of the pieces of ourselves into one. Loving myself at all ages and through all of my mistakes and regrets has been a key for me in my healing journey.

Email us at connect@seestarlight.com if you have any questions or if you’d like for us to try to connect you with someone who can pray through this process with you.